are you the devil?

it's folks who act like angels that i worry about.

i was waiting for it to hit me

you hope and you dream, but you never believe that something is going to happen for you, not like it does in the movies. when it actually does, you expect it to feel different, more visceral, more real.

embracing failure

“success represents 1% of your work which results from the 99% that is called failure.” — soichiro honda (1906 - 1992)

are you ignorant or just apathetic?

i don’t know and i really don’t care.

the dumbest people are those who know it all

three movies, two cigarette packs and a fresh six-pack

“He doesn’t even know when it all went wrong. How it happened no longer seems relevant. Sometimes things… they don’t go the way you want them to. It happens. It hurts, but it happens. Sometimes, no matter what you try or say or do, it just doesn’t work out.

He contemplates her picture and thinks about her and wonders what she’s doing. He realizes he has no idea whatsoever (and does his lack of insight have anything to do with how things turned out?).

He puts the picture down.“

no one else is here, and i can't get since i'm nothing

i am not moving as fast as i should be; i am not gaining enough ground

i need to get back into the race and win it outright; right now, i am nowhere near to getting anywhere at this pace

spencer for hire was the name of a television show

its like a movement without the bother of all of the meaning

do you enjoy losing

no, not that much.

but then, i don't really have a lot to compare it to.

"it is as natural to die as to be born; and to a little infant, perhaps, the one is as painful as the other"

Infant mortality has many causes. Some of them include:

congenital malformations, deformations and chromosomal abnormalities
disorders related to short gestation and low birth weight
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
maternal complications
complications of placenta, cord and membranes
unintentional injuries
respiratory distress of newborn
bacterial sepsis of newborn
diseases of the circulatory system
intrauterine hypoxia and birth asphyxia

All of these occur more often when maternal health and nutrition are poor. In many cases, causes are multiple with low birth weight being a major factor. Infant mortality is highest in developing nations. These countries generally have a low GDP, low literacy, high levels of poverty, a high rate of maternal mortality and a high number of children per woman.

the reproduction of an unsent letter

“i think you are being too precious. rightly so to a certain extent because it’s something you have developed yourself. at the same time, i think you are too afraid to kill things, even though (from where i am sitting) the whole situation looks like (excuse the analogy) one of those beta software programs that promise much but ending up sucking memory from your computer and eventually making it unusable by other, more routine programs.

it may be making money somewhat, but all this slogging is a real waste of resources… you could be better off working on something bigger. i am not trying to doubt the amount of work you put in, but for all this effort, how much would you actually want to show?

i probably don’t know enough to be saying what i have just said. it’s all put together from whatever little i know. but if you are holding onto it because it’s something you developed all on your own, i don’t think it’s good enough a reason. you got it going & you can kill it anytime, because you can always get another one to replace this, as hard work as it is.”

the price of love and devotion

always been in my life since i was ten
1 split lip, 1 lacerated lip, 4 different gashes to the shin, 8 stitches to the chin, 3 occasions of in-game shoulder dislocations, 3 high speed projectiles to the testicles, shin splints, 1 hand fracture, 4 stubbed toes and countless bruises and cuts on the shins, knees, elbows, wrists, face and head.